Tuesday, July 15, 2008

1 year already!

Shayden has been with us for exactly one year now! WOW!!!
When he arrived at 6 months old - supposedly for 2-3 months - it didn't take him long to conquer our hearts with his pleasant personality and ready smiles!

He has gone from a small, passive, reflux baby who could not hold his head up, let alone a toy nor roll over (he hardly moved) to a happy, active, inquisitive, smiley, giggly, tantrum-throwing toddler - crawling and just about walking by himself and making loud noises (no words yet), communicating very well with gestures and sign language (he does about 7 signs).

Unfortunately, he has only gained 1.5kg (just over 3 pounds) in this year - - - which could make me feel really bad... It probably would if I was a first time mommy.

But - working with doctors, dieticians and therapists - I know that it has nothing to do with me :)

His just-about refusal to eat is most likely psychological and also linked to fetal alcohol syndrome, which we just found out he has. Yes, poor little guy! I feel so bad for him for all he's had to go through already in his short life that will have an effect for life - and for all he's going to have to go through in the future!

Unless God does a miracle for him, the words HOPE and a FUTURE don't seem to fit his diagnosis.

This is really hard to accept - and I am not accepting it. God wouldn't be God if there was no HOPE for this precious little guy!
I love him to pieces - and despite this love, Rich and I have felt not to commit to "permanency" for him. We are just not sure that we are supposed to be his forever family. It's been the most heart-wrenching decision to make, but we feel peace (now).
Social services have been looking for another forever family for him (adoption isn't possible, just permanent foster care), but up to now they haven't been able to find anybody.
We are willing to keep Shayden until a family can be found for him - even if it takes a while.
I am praying daily for the healing of his deep inner wounds, as well as the brain and also his arm and hand. GOD IS ABLE TO DO IMMEASURABLY MORE THAN ALL WE MAY ASK OR IMAGINE!!!
I count myself BLESSED to have been entrusted with him "for such a time as this" and I absolutely, thoroughly ENJOY every day with him!
Shayden, you are a delight!!!
Here's a photo taken a few days after he arrived at our home:
This is one year later - notice the same outfit (unfortunately) still fits him - although I must say that it was big at first, now it's almost too small :)
This is his reaction when you ask him, "How big is Shayden?"

On his new car that we got him on this 1-year-GOTCHA-day! We had sold his Christmas-gift (he had outgrown it) and were able to get this cool car 50% off at the exact price we sold the other one for. Not sure who was happier - he or me - or Kylie, who is on it more than he is :)


Playing in his very own bedroom - YAY!!! I am thrilled to have a nursery for the first time ever !


Just one more thing: Could you please pray for him for this coming week-end? Rich and I have felt that we need some relaxing alone-time and are going away for the week-end to a "Week-end to Remember" marriage retreat. We are really looking forward to it!

Shayden has not been away from me since I went to Fiji last year for a week (and that didn't go well for him) and we're not sure how he'll do being taken care of by somebody else. She's a friend of the family and will come to our house, where all the other children will also be, but it will still be a big challenge for him. Pray that he wouldn't feel abandoned and rejected (again), but somehow secure in the love of God and at peace! THANKS HEAPS!!!

1 comment:

Andrea said...

Love the update on Shayden.
please go to my side bar and click on the "....love Deeply " site.
She is a friend from Australia who has her first foster child. I know she would welcome the support. Shayden doesn't look like he has FAS, but I guess maybe they don't always have"the look".
I hope his family finds him soon. I it heartbreaking that his bio fam. will not allow his adoption. Makes no sense to me. Enjoy your weekend with your husband! I am sure the baby will be fine.

Andrea