yearning and longing

Those of you faithful readers and those who've known me for a long time know my passion and love for orphans and Rich's and my desire to adopt - some day.

There is a little chinese girl in our church creche (where I work most Sundays) who was adopted by a beautiful NZ family. 2 years ago, when we first arrived, I remember her to be totally closed and unapproachable. She would only stay at creche with her older brother. She had been adopted about 6 months prior.

Her mother told me how the first year with her was horrific, as she was unable to receive any love and basically screamed at the top of her lungs for the major part of the year! She was adopted from a chinese orphanage where she'd stayed for 18 months.

She is now 4 and the most beautiful, well adapted little girl. She loves Jesus and participates willingly at everything we do - especially the songs that we do movements to.

Last Sunday night at church, Kylie and her were intently watching over 20 people getting baptized in a very moving service. As I was watching them getting as close as they could to the pool and cheering and clapping with the rest of us, I was pondering on the changes this little girl has gone through.

How touching to see what she is becoming! How beautiful, what this family has done to literally save her life (according to her mom, she would most likely not be alive today, had she stayed in that orphanage)!

As I told her Mum about it this morning - thanking her for adopting her and taking her into their family - she said, "And we're doing it again. We'll have to wait 2 years (and know at what cost), but It's worth it!" WOW!!!

I've hardly been able to fight back the tears since this morning. The longing in my heart to also adopt are so strong. I feel like I am painfully yearning for the child(ren) that should be in our family...

It's hard to describe - - -

I am just going to have to keep asking the Father that he would open doors that would naturally be closed (for reasons of residency and finance mostly). I'm going to be like that widow, pestering the unjust judge... And I know that God is everything BUT unjust!

I know that it all starts in prayer and I'm going for it!